Brian G Posted January 2, 2004 Report Posted January 2, 2004 I don't mean to bore all of my ASHI friends who have seen this already, but I know there are some here who haven't been on the "other" forum, and would get a kick out of it. [}] ©Brian A. Goodman Originally released 9/21/03 "Inspector Jack" [:-devil] An inspector named Jack came to town, His name was soon heard all around, His reports were as meek as a mouse, He was always so fair to the house Jack made lots of dough as he went, From referrals the realtors had sent, No words of alarm had been spoken, Not one single deal had been broken Then trouble showed up at Jack's door, In the form of fat lawsuits galore, He'd duck and he'd hide all the day, The things those ex-clients would say! Next thing you know Jack was gone, Leaving realtors to fend all alone, But they didn't have too long to frown, An inspector named Bill came to town My apologies to any and all "Jack" or "Bill" readers. [:I]
Richard Moore Posted January 2, 2004 Report Posted January 2, 2004 Don't quit your day job Brian! [:-hspin]
Jim Morrison Posted January 2, 2004 Report Posted January 2, 2004 Brian is the undisputed Home Inspector Poet Laureate and deserves all of the rights and priveleges therunto pertaining. Home Inspector Koans Anyone?
Brian G Posted January 2, 2004 Author Report Posted January 2, 2004 Richard, What day job? Jim, What the heck is a koan? Brion LePoet Struggling Artist [:-shades]
chrisprickett Posted January 2, 2004 Report Posted January 2, 2004 Koan (pronounced ko-an)-A Zen Buddist riddle used to focus the mind during meditation. Develops intuitive thinking.[|)] Jeez, I thought EVERYBODY knew that!
Brian G Posted January 3, 2004 Author Report Posted January 3, 2004 Ah-so Grasshopper! You mean those ignorant "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?" things? That stuff is so dumb it's almost funny. As if sound waves depend on receptors for existance. [:-dunce] How about a little Confucius: "The hand can see what the eye cannot feel." Remember your first time in a dark back-seat? [:-drool] Brian G. Like It Was Yesterday [:-eyebrows]
Richard Moore Posted January 3, 2004 Report Posted January 3, 2004 Confucius is OK, but I prefer Marx...as in Groucho. "Outside of a dog, a good book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Brian G Posted January 3, 2004 Author Report Posted January 3, 2004 Richard's post reminds me, I've been meaning to compliment management on the "qoute" box on the home page. [:-thumbu] I sat here watching it for about a half-hour the other night; very interesting until it starts to repeat. Too bad we can't contribute to it. "Everyone is crazy, it just depends on who you ask." - Pete Goodman (my Dad) "The best thing most people will do for you is to repeatedly underestimate you." - Brian Goodman
Richard Moore Posted January 3, 2004 Report Posted January 3, 2004 Back to "Poetry Corner"â⬦and I promise this is my one and only entry. An inspector who hails from Seattle, Chose a symbol resembling cattle. When asked why Mad Cow, He said itââ¬â¢s as how, ââ¬ÅIââ¬â¢ve got Moo in my name and I prattle.ââ¬
Brian G Posted January 3, 2004 Author Report Posted January 3, 2004 Welcome to the club Richard! Peey-yeww! And you told me to keep my day job!? [:-crazy] Very well then sir, here's one my limmericks...have the small children leave the room. [:-bonc01] An inspector came down from Nantucket, Whose head was shaped just like a bucket, White-washed his reports, Got dragged through the courts, Till he finally gave up and said "F*** it!" I'll understand if that one doesn't make the front. [:I] The bucket-head reference is a nod to Walter Jowers, for those who might not make the connection. Brian G. Somebody Stop Me, Before I Rhyme Again
hausdok Posted January 3, 2004 Report Posted January 3, 2004 Hi Brian, The limerick is great, but probably not front-page stuff. Maybe, just maybe, it will be possible to add it to the quotes scroll. We'll see. Meantime, don't go back on your medication. We're getting a kick out of it. [}] ONE TEAM - ONE FIGHT!!! Mike
Brian G Posted January 4, 2004 Author Report Posted January 4, 2004 It seems I only have one other limerick from the Prickett Wars, so I'll just throw it in too. A "Master" who wrote thin reports, Ignored big defects of all sorts, The realtors flocked to him, But the clients all sued him, Now all he owns is his shorts [] Brian G. Mildly Insane but Socially Functional Home Inspector [:-dopey]
paul burrell Posted August 31, 2006 Report Posted August 31, 2006 "Everyone is crazy, it just depends on who you ask." - Pete Goodman (my Dad) "The best thing most people will do for you is to repeatedly underestimate you." - Brian Goodman "Everyone is crazy except you and me and I am beginning to wonder about you"- My Motherinlaw. Paul B.
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