An Exciting New Opportunity For Home Inspectors

[hausdok]

Building Inspection Gyrographic Scintillation Centered

Advanced Monitoring Satellite

After leaving a career at NASA to become a home inspector I always believed there was a way to bring the technology of the US Space program to bear on the home inspection industry. Five years ago I reconnected with some of my former colleagues in NASA?s Aeronautics Remote Sensing (ARS) laboratory through the Technology Transfer Office (TTO). Over these five years we have quietly been developing the technology that is now on the precipice of turning the home inspection industry on its head.

Today I?m announcing the predawn launch of our satellite on a commercial Delta 1 rocket from Launch Complex 39a at Kennedy Space Center. The satellite has already been activated, checked out, and all systems are GO! Moving in a 450 mile high orbit at 18,500 MPH, the satellite has already completed several gyrographic scintillation scans of buildings across the US. The Satellite has the capability to scan a 50 mile wide swath of all the homes within its range, providing an analysis of all the systems of the house. Within 21 days, all of the houses within the continental US will have been scanned, rescanned and verified, and with our high speed computers we will be able to produce high quality detailed inspection reports on every house in the United States with the click of a mouse.

The heart of the satellite scanning system is the Rockwell Space Systems Retroencabulator which is powered by a radioisotope thermoelectric generator (RTG) using magneto reluctance driving a capacitive duractance to promulgate panendurmic semi-bulloid waves in a lotus-odeltoid pattern, providing a 360 degree hydrocoptic model of the structure with an incredibly accurate analysis of all systems within the structure. The system can measure everything from the granule erosion of the roof shingles down to the integrity of the footings and all components and systems in between.

We are currently looking for a few partners who wish to provide this new higher level of home inspection to the clients in their state. Because one inspector will be able to handle thousands of inspections per day using our automated systems, we are only looking for one partner per state who has met all the state licensing requirements as a home inspector.

This is the chance of a lifetime. You will be astounded by the money you can make putting our Building Inspection Gyrographic Scintillation Centered Advanced Monitoring (BIGSCAM) Satellite to work for you.

Bill Loden

Dateline: April 1, 2014

[Les]

Mike, is this you or Bill? either way it is pretty good! Walter would be proud!!

[Jim Morrison]

Check your calendars, folks. Well done, Brother Loden. Well done, indeed.

[Mike Lamb]

1000 inspections a day! I'm in. My current workload of 10-12 inspections per day allows me too much time with my family.

Bill, I understand the use of the Thermo Encabulator made much of this possible. This dynamic is explained in laymen's terms here:

[kurt]

Brilliant. But, how does the software sort boilerplate comments?

There are rumors of Nick buying out the process. When the deal is done, all home inspectors that are not dues paying members of his business will be notified that they can no longer inspect houses without threat of patent infringement.

[Tom Raymond]

That's even funnier.

[Nolan Kienitz]

Excellent and nice to see a tradition continuing ... and continuing very well.

[John Kogel]

I wasn't fooled. No way you use a lotus-odeltoid pattern for HI. That would be be overkill. []

[bjloden]

I wasn't fooled. No way you use a lotus-odeltoid pattern for HI. That would be be overkill. []

I knew I wouldn't get that by everyone.