Sure glad our forums are not like this!

[ejager]

How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

1 to move it to the Lighting section

2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section

7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

5 to flame the spell checkers

3 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

[John Kogel]

Correction, the proper term for light bulb is "lumenation unit". And in the future, don't post that nonsense here. []

[resqman]

I thought the term was "luminarie"

[Nolan Kienitz]

It has to be "North of the Border" and "South of the Border" things.

And here we go !! [:-monkeyd

[ejager]

Correction, the proper term for light bulb is "lumenation unit". And in the future, don't post that nonsense here. []

I always though they were actually "dark-suckers".

From the inter-web:

For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light.

However recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise.

Electric bulbs don't emit light, they suck dark. Thus, they now call these bulbs dark-suckers. The dark theory, according to a Bell Labs spokesman, proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier than that of light, and that dark is faster than light. The basis of the dark-sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark.

Take for example the dark-suckers in the room where you are.

There is less dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the dark sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark.

Dark-suckers in a parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in this room.

As with all things, dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full dark sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You will notice after the first use the wick turns black, representing all the dark which has been sucked into it. If you hold a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, the tip will turn black because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. Unfortunately, these primitive dark suckers have a very limited range.

There are also portable dark suckers. The bulbs in these can't handle all the dark by themselves, and must be aided by a dark storage unit. When the dark storage unit is full, it must either be emptied or replaced before the portable dark sucker can be operated again. Dark has mass. When dark goes into a dark sucker, friction from this mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating dark sucker. Candles present a special problem, as the dark must travel in the solid wick instead of through glass. Thus, it can be very dangerous to touch an operating candle. Dark is also heavier than light. If you swim deeper and deeper, you notice it gets darker and darker. When you reach a depth of approximately fifty feet, you are in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats to the top. The immense power of the dark can be utilized to man's advantage. We can collect the dark that has settled to the bottom of the lakes and push it through turbines which generate electricity and help push dark to the ocean, where it maybe safely stored.

In conclusion, Bell Labs stated that dark suckers make all our live much easier. So, the next time you look at an electric bulb, remember that it is indeed a dark sucker!

[Mike Lamb]

I was going to say this post was illuminating but now I just feel dark sucked. And I'm liking it.

[John Kogel]

I thought the term was "luminaire"

He's changing the bulb, not the fixture. I corrected your typo, so be nice about this.

[ericwlewis]

I like the dark sucker but need a clarification. I realize that if a dark sucker is installed in a fixture and it breaks whilst sucking darkness, darkness fills the room immediately. What happens when a full dark sucker is thrown in a trash can and it breaks?

[Tom Raymond]

I think this whole topic should be moved to the candle power forum.

[Les]

I like the dark sucker but need a clarification. I realize that if a dark sucker is installed in a fixture and it breaks whilst sucking darkness, darkness fills the room immediately. What happens when a full dark sucker is thrown in a trash can and it breaks?

actually no one knows, because all the dark spills out and blocks your vision. We can assume it operates much like the common refridgerator light bulb - very quick.. That is why you should always use an appliance bulb for refridgerators.

[Jim Morrison]

Les, I know you intentionally misspelled refrigerator and I just want you to know: I'm not biting.

Jimmy

[Nolan Kienitz]

Jimmy,

Les just had a birthday ... I'm surprised he did not use: "icebox" []

[Tom Raymond]

Ice boxes don't have light bulbs. [:-graduat

I was gonna spell it 'lightbulb' but my spell check didn't like it - that answers that question.

[resqman]

Ice box? I heard it was called a Chill Chest. Everyone is always using strange terminology. I feel so left out. It is hard to read my dictionary because by dark sucker is full.

Do they make a device that allows you to empty the dark out of a dark sucker so you can fill it up again? Kinda of like emptying the trash can.

[Marc]

I get curb side pickup on dark sucker once a week. I don't know where they take it.

Marc

[John Kogel]

Do they make a device that allows you to empty the dark out of a dark sucker so you can fill it up again? Kinda of like emptying the trash can.

If you can get your hands on an egg suckin' dog, I've heard they can suck the dark out, but where's the incentive for them? It's no the same as suckin an egg, eh?

[ericwlewis]

I get curb side pickup on dark sucker once a week. I don't know where they take it.

Marc

They used to take it on the space shuttle to the dark side of the moon, now what?