Joke

[swarga]

This was sent to me by another inspector. I thought you might like it.

Road Rage

Two cars were waiting at a stoplight. The light turned green, but the

man didn't notice it. A woman in the car behind him is watching traffic

pass around them. The woman begins pounding on her steering wheel and

yelling at the man to move. The man doesn't move.

The woman is going ballistic inside her car, ranting and raving at the

man, pounding on her steering wheel and dash. The light turns yellow

and the woman begins to blow the car horn, flips him off, and screams

profanity and curses at the man.

The man, looks up, sees the yellow light and accelerates through the

intersection just as the light turns red.

The woman is beside herself, screaming in frustration as she misses her

chance to get through the intersection. As she is still in mid-rant she

hears a tap on her window and looks up into the barrel of a gun held by

a very serious-looking policeman.

The policeman tells her to shut off her car while keeping both hands in

sight. She complies, speechless at what is happening. After she shuts

off the engine, the policeman orders her to exit her car with her hands

up. She gets out of the car and he orders her to turn and place her

hands on her car, then handcuffs her and takes her to the police station

where she is fingerprinted, photographed, searched, booked, and placed

in a cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approaches the cell and opens the

door for her. She is escorted back to the booking desk where the

original officer is waiting with her personal effects and says, "I'm

really sorry for this mistake. But, you see, I pulled up behind your

car while you were blowing your horn, flipping the guy off in front of

you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'Choose Life'

license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do?' bumper sticker, the

'Follow Me to Sunday School' bumper sticker, and the chrome plated

Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally I assumed you had stolen

the car."

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[hausdok]

Cute Scott,

Reminds me of the night on patrol in 1977 at Ft. Bragg when I glided to a stop behind another car at a light on Bragg Blvd. at 2am. The light turned green and they guy inside did nothing. The brake lights were still on. I tapped the horn to alert him to the light. No response, so I put on the blues and my partner and I got out.

Walked up to the car and found him out like a light with the engine idling. Knocked on the window, no response, pounded on the car, no response, honked the horn and even hit the siren, no response. Finally, had to take my maglight and smash a passenger window to get in, 'cuz I thought he was dead.

We got him awake, took him into custody and took him down to the station and had him blow - nadda. Turns out, he was on meds for a bad back and drank a beer. He was on his way home when he pulled up to that light in front of me and fell asleep at the wheel. I went back to the car. There was the bottle in the console with instructions on it not to consume alcohol while taking the medicine. I wrote him anyway for DUI.

He went to court and tried to fight it, stating he wasn't drunk and the evidence showed it. The magistrate asked me what he'd blown. I told him. The magistrate said, "That's not drunk, why'd you write him for driving under the influence?" I replied, look at the citation Your Honor, I didn't specify what he was under the influence of, only that he was. The guy admitted to me that he was on prescription meds and had a beer with them when it said on the bottle not do do so. He was sound asleep at a light with the engine running, the car in gear and his foot on the brake. I had to break his window to get in the car to wake him up. That was enough to convince me he wasn't in a 'normal' sleep and was passed out at the wheel of a 3,000 lb. weapon."

The judge took a minute to read the statute and then agreed. He fined the guy $500. and ordered him into drug counseling. I left court feeling pretty cocky that day.

ONE TEAM - ONE FIGHT!!!

Mike