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Posted

What if I don't have a baby?

Then you'll be wanting the version for sheep.

You install it in the barn. It shows a green pasture with big ram beating the crap out of a pack of wolves.

- Jim Katen, Oregon

Posted

My Aunt Margaret was ahead of her time. When she finished off her windowless basement, she had the carpenter build a window in one wall, several feet away from the foundation wall. Then she made a diorama with a big blue sky, green rolling hills, and plastic flowers, complete with hidden lighting. If she were still alive, she'd buy this gizmo in a heartbeat.

I'm not that imaginative. When I added on to my house, I had to build a wall in front of one of my bathroom windows. When you walk in there today, & open the blinds, you get a fabulous view of a studwall.

- Jim Katen, Oregon

Posted

Leave the sheep alone - 2011 will be better [;)]

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Mike, you can delete or edit as you see fit.

Back in 1978, when I had two rug rats, and was so broke I couldn't pay attention I enrolled in the West Side Institute of Technology - a really good trade school here in Cleveland. I worked full time in the maintenance department of a local hospital, took care of all maintenance issues at the 76 suite apartment complex my wife and I lived in, worked 12 hours, on Saturday and Sunday, in a beverage store, for 2 bucks an hour (yep, that's 48 dollars for 12 hours of work) and went to trade school Tuesday and Thursday from 6-9 PM. We used to play touch foot ball, in the dark, in the parking lot, during break time (with a few quarts of Strohs). Fun times, really fun times.

Anyway, I sat next to one of the funniest feckers I've ever met. He was a good old boy from the south. He said you would wear hip boots, take a sheep to the edge of a cliff, put the back legs of the sheep in the hip boots - and I need go no further. He had our table laughing so hard that Wally Sterbenz, our teacher, thought it best to take another break.

I've paid my dues, have struggled to the point where I didn't know how I could support my family however I wouldn't change a thing. I'm not rich but I'm blessed. [^]

Peace in 11.

Posted

. . . He said you would wear hip boots, take a sheep to the edge of a cliff, put the back legs of the sheep in the hip boots . . .

Reminds me of and old aquaintance who was planning a trip to Ireland. He confided in me that he planned to romance a sheep while he was there, just because he'd always been curious about it.

When he returned, I drew him aside and asked, "Well, how did your assignation with the sheep go?"

He looked down at the floor and shook his head, "The thing about sheep that I didn't realize is that they're really, really dirty." Seem's he was completely unable to rise to the occasion.

- Jim Katen, Oregon

Posted

Jim,

The fact that you even know some dude that would consider doing something like that is, like, really, really disturbing. I hope you're being careful to keep that perv away from your family and any pets you have.

ONE TEAM - ONE FIGHT!!!

Mike

Posted

Jim,

The fact that you even know some dude that would consider doing something like that is, like, really, really disturbing. I hope you're being careful to keep that perv away from your family and any pets you have.

Well, I haven't seen him since 1979. To the best of my knowledge, he never actually coupled with any animals, but I know that he wasn't very discriminating about his human partners. I heard that he passed away in 1981 from a strange disease that no one had heard of before but which we now call AIDS.

The irony is that he probably would have been better off with sheep than people.

- Jim Katen, Oregon

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