Get your Barf-bag out

[Darren]

I haven't been on ActiveRain lately; this morning I was going thru some blogs and found one belonging to this NJ inspector.

Here's what he has on his profile:

Without boring you with my qualifications, I strive to be a different type of home inspector. Over the last 15 years, I have cultivated my profession to the extent that I care more for my clients than I do about the amount of money I am making. I get my fee but I also go that extra mile. I perform a lot of services for free, when a situation arises. I have learned many years ago to look at an older home with a different mindset than most inspectors. As homes increase in age and change hands, it is more likely to have an increased amount of defects. Many defects with older homes should considered as common and explained as such. My knowledge and smooth tone mannerism, affords me the edge I need to convey an extreme issues into one that can be absorbed by the home buyers. Not causing the hair on the back of their neck stand up is important. If more inspectors looked at a home and judged it for what it is and not what they think it should be, there would be less deals falling apart. A home buyer and their agent work hard together, they may view 10, 15, 25 or more homes together. I personally feel a high level of responsibility towards their efforts. The worst thing is, having it all go south and starting over.

His web site says he does pre-listing inspections for $195.00

PS- hey Neal, this guys down your way!

[John Dirks Jr]

He could sum that up in one sentence.

"I wont kill your deal so please refer me"

[Richard Moore]

My knowledge and smooth tone mannerism, affords me the edge...

Somewhere, a sleazy used car lot is missing one of its salesmen.

[Jim Katen]

My knowledge and smooth tone mannerism, affords me the edge...

Somewhere, a sleazy used car lot is missing one of its salesmen.

I'm thinking Bill Paxton's character in True Lies.

[Steven Hockstein]

Hey Darren,

Why not share the link for us to read ourselves?

Thanks

[Inspectorjoe]

In case Darren doesn't want to post the actual link, Google "I strive to be a different type of home inspector". It should be the first result.

From his website: A home inspector should indicate that a home passes or fails. He should outline the defects and you determine if the purchase is to costly for you. If you are buying a home under the market value, then the repairs may not exceed the value of the house. This scenario may make the purchase more reasonable for you.

Yikes!

[Jim Katen]

Hey Darren,

Why not share the link for us to read ourselves?

Thanks

Because once the perp is identified, we'd have to behave like gentlemen.

As long as he remains anonymous, we can have more fun.

- Jim Katen, Oregon

[John Dirks Jr]

Hey Darren,

Why not share the link for us to read ourselves?

Thanks

Because once the perp is identified, we'd have to behave like gentlemen.

As long as he remains anonymous, we can have more fun.

- Jim Katen, Oregon

You devil you....

[Jim Katen]

In case Darren doesn't want to post the actual link, Google "I strive to be a different type of home inspector". It should be the first result.

And this thread is the second result.

[Inspectorjoe]

Not to beat a dead horse, but that has to be a parody site, a la The Onion. It just has to be.

Procedure

The way we perform our home inspection is simple. Together we start at the upper levels of the home and work our way down. Over the years we have found that inspecting the nicer rooms (as opposed to an unfinished basement) the the buyer become more comfortable with the inspection process and like the house even more. Starting an inspection in a basement usually makes home buyers uncomfortable and disappointed. The reason for this is because the greater amount of the problems are located in the basement. So getting hit with them first is a shock that last throughout the entire inspection.

On a different note, I wonder how lightly Mattel Inc. takes trademark infringement.

[Bain]

I looked at a house last week for a woman who was referred by another client. The buyer and her big-hair Betty realtor showed up at the end. The realtor, whom I'd never met, was all smiles, and of course told me I JUST HAD to give her some cards.

We sat at the kitchen table, and I noticed the realtor was holding a Repair-Request form that had that 8" x 8" area to write in said requests. I begin speaking about the nine-year-old house we were in, which wasn't awful by any means, but which needed some attention. First the smile disappears, then the realtor turns away from me and stares out the window. When I was about halfway through what I had to say, I kid you not, the realtor began wadding the Repair-Request form into a tight little ball.

I would have given anything to have had my computer cam turned on.

[Jim Katen]

Not to beat a dead horse, but that has to be a parody site, a la The Onion. It just has to be.

Procedure

The way we perform our home inspection is simple. Together we start at the upper levels of the home and work our way down. Over the years we have found that inspecting the nicer rooms (as opposed to an unfinished basement) the the buyer become more comfortable with the inspection process and like the house even more. Starting an inspection in a basement usually makes home buyers uncomfortable and disappointed. The reason for this is because the greater amount of the problems are located in the basement. So getting hit with them first is a shock that last throughout the entire inspection.

On a different note, I wonder how lightly Mattel Inc. takes trademark infringement.

*censored*

I have censored my own comments because they were childish and vulgar. My new comments are below.

This fellow seems to be a fine gentleman and a credit to the profession.

- Jim Katen, Oregon

[Jim Katen]

I looked at a house last week for a woman who was referred by another client. The buyer and her big-hair Betty realtor showed up at the end. The realtor, whom I'd never met, was all smiles, and of course told me I JUST HAD to give her some cards. . .

Do you ever say, "Sure, they're $5 each, how many would you like?"

[John Dirks Jr]

Not to beat a dead horse, but that has to be a parody site, a la The Onion. It just has to be.

Procedure

The way we perform our home inspection is simple. Together we start at the upper levels of the home and work our way down. Over the years we have found that inspecting the nicer rooms (as opposed to an unfinished basement) the the buyer become more comfortable with the inspection process and like the house even more. Starting an inspection in a basement usually makes home buyers uncomfortable and disappointed. The reason for this is because the greater amount of the problems are located in the basement. So getting hit with them first is a shock that last throughout the entire inspection.

On a different note, I wonder how lightly Mattel Inc. takes trademark infringement.

*censored*

I have censored my own comments because they were childish and vulgar. My new comments are below.

This fellow seems to be a fine gentleman and a credit to the profession.

- Jim Katen, Oregon

Now you're a devil and a waffle.

[Darren]

Steve,

I'd rather not post his web site but maybe you should check your private messages here for a link to his Activerain comments ; )

[Darren]

Hey guys, I'm sorry but I'm piling on here.

This is also on his website:

In this day and age when there is twenty times the amount of houses on the market than buyers, more aggressive steps must be taken. Many of the contracted homes that are for sale end up back on the market. This is due to the buyer’s home inspection report and the fact that there are so many homes on the market. The buyers will then move on in search of a home with fewer problems. Many home inspectors kill the sale because they are not qualified or want to charge for another home inspection for the next house. Many real estate agents that represent the seller do not get involved in explaining how to prepare the home for a sale. Ultimately what happens with all of the above, the home sits on the market and the price has to be reduced to attract new perspective buyers.

Here is what we propose.

If you the seller were to have a presale home inspection prior to your prospective buyer’s home inspection, then you would have the advantage of being aware of all or most of the issues that the buyer’s inspector will uncover. You as the seller will now have the opportunity to repair any deficiencies (if you are inclined to) or disclaim them on your disclosure statement. If you do not want to repair anything then we can assist you in determining a fair dollar amount that you would give back at the closing to repair some of the issues. I say some of the repairs because the buyer’s are purchasing a used house not a new one. This will greatly reduce the buyer’s ability to break the contract and also reduce the chances of you having to reduce the price if the sale falls through and your house is put back on the market. A seller’s presale home inspection is becoming more and more common place. Making a few repairs or giving back some money at the closing is cheaper than having to reduce the price if the sale falls through.

When we perform a home inspection for a buyer it usually takes about 2-1/2 to 3 hours for an average size home. For a seller’s pre sale inspection it will also take 2-1/2 to 3 hours. You will receive a 10 page report at the end of the inspection. During the inspection process you will be present and we will go over every item and discuss the best way to handle it. We are also well qualified to discuss and point out the issues that will make your home show better to a perspective buyer. We will help you dispute the buyer’s inspection report if need be. On the other hand if your buyer already has had an inspection done on your home and it is causing you problems we can be your second opinion. We have been in business for 15 years. We are state license and insured. We have been in the construction business for many years. Our inspection company is rated in the top ten companies out of the 700 home inspection companies in New Jersey.

Any home inspection company charges a buyer approximately $400.00 or more for an average size home.

A presale (peace of mind) inspection costs $195.00 for an average size home. We charge this nominal fee because we will build a relationship with you and then you will be happy to refer us. This is our guarantee.

Having A Home Inspection Before You Put Your Home Up For SaleThe Best Protection A Small Amount Of Money Can BuyPre-Sale Home Inspection

[Inspectorjoe]

I have censored my own comments because they were childish and vulgar.

I saw your comments before you removed them. They were childish and vulgar ............. AND entirely appropriate.

[hausdok]

Not to beat a dead horse, but that has to be a parody site, a la The Onion. It just has to be.

Procedure

The way we perform our home inspection is simple. Together we start at the upper levels of the home and work our way down. Over the years we have found that inspecting the nicer rooms (as opposed to an unfinished basement) the the buyer become more comfortable with the inspection process and like the house even more. Starting an inspection in a basement usually makes home buyers uncomfortable and disappointed. The reason for this is because the greater amount of the problems are located in the basement. So getting hit with them first is a shock that last throughout the entire inspection.

On a different note, I wonder how lightly Mattel Inc. takes trademark infringement.

*censored*

I have censored my own comments because they were childish and vulgar. My new comments are below.

This fellow seems to be a fine gentleman and a credit to the profession.

- Jim Katen, Oregon

Crap, I was out of the house and missed all of the fun.....again!

ONE TEAM - ONE FIGHT!!!

Mike

[kurt]

Crap, I was out of the house and missed all of the fun.....again!

ONE TEAM - ONE FIGHT!!!

Mike

Yeah, we don't get enough vulgar and inappropriate stuff in here; it's hard when you miss some.......

[Marc]

Hey guys, I'm sorry but I'm piling on here.

This is also on his website:

In this day and age when there is twenty times the amount of houses on the market than buyers, more aggressive steps must be taken. Many of the contracted homes that are for sale end up back on the market. This is due to the buyer’s home inspection report and the fact that there are so many homes on the market. The buyers will then move on in search of a home with fewer problems. Many home inspectors kill the sale because they are not qualified or want to charge for another home inspection for the next house. Many real estate agents that represent the seller do not get involved in explaining how to prepare the home for a sale. Ultimately what happens with all of the above, the home sits on the market and the price has to be reduced to attract new perspective buyers.

Here is what we propose.

If you the seller were to have a presale home inspection prior to your prospective buyer’s home inspection, then you would have the advantage of being aware of all or most of the issues that the buyer’s inspector will uncover. You as the seller will now have the opportunity to repair any deficiencies (if you are inclined to) or disclaim them on your disclosure statement. If you do not want to repair anything then we can assist you in determining a fair dollar amount that you would give back at the closing to repair some of the issues. I say some of the repairs because the buyer’s are purchasing a used house not a new one. This will greatly reduce the buyer’s ability to break the contract and also reduce the chances of you having to reduce the price if the sale falls through and your house is put back on the market. A seller’s presale home inspection is becoming more and more common place. Making a few repairs or giving back some money at the closing is cheaper than having to reduce the price if the sale falls through.

When we perform a home inspection for a buyer it usually takes about 2-1/2 to 3 hours for an average size home. For a seller’s pre sale inspection it will also take 2-1/2 to 3 hours. You will receive a 10 page report at the end of the inspection. During the inspection process you will be present and we will go over every item and discuss the best way to handle it. We are also well qualified to discuss and point out the issues that will make your home show better to a perspective buyer. We will help you dispute the buyer’s inspection report if need be. On the other hand if your buyer already has had an inspection done on your home and it is causing you problems we can be your second opinion. We have been in business for 15 years. We are state license and insured. We have been in the construction business for many years. Our inspection company is rated in the top ten companies out of the 700 home inspection companies in New Jersey.

Any home inspection company charges a buyer approximately $400.00 or more for an average size home.

A presale (peace of mind) inspection costs $195.00 for an average size home. We charge this nominal fee because we will build a relationship with you and then you will be happy to refer us. This is our guarantee.

Having A Home Inspection Before You Put Your Home Up For SaleThe Best Protection A Small Amount Of Money Can BuyPre-Sale Home Inspection

Which planet is this guy from?

Marc

[esch]

A presale (peace of mind) inspection costs $195.00 for an average size home. We charge this nominal fee because we will build a relationship with you and then you will be happy to refer us. This is our guarantee.

Having A Home Inspection Before You Put Your Home Up For SaleThe Best Protection A Small Amount Of Money Can BuyPre-Sale Home Inspection

Can't they just look at the HI they paid for when they bought the place three years ago and look at all the repairs they were compensated for but didn't fix instead of buying another one?

[gtblum]

You really can't blame the guy.

After all, isn't that just what the folks who run the home inspection profession want to hear? Isn't that the exact type of inspector they use?

[Brandon Whitmore]

I can't believe a moderator has censored himself, and I missed the posting prior to the censorship. [:-weepn]

[Erby]

Dang moderators anyway! I understand somebody has to censor US, but they shouldn't have the power to censor themselves. It happens to fast that way and we miss some good vulgar and inappropriate stuff!

-

[Neal Lewis]

Our inspection company is rated in the top ten companies out of the 700 home inspection companies in New Jersey.

Darren, I didn't know our companies were rated!