Bonnie Trenga

Mr Long himself told me no, so that seemed like a pretty firm no. I will definitely consider doing it the next year.

Well, the submissions deadline for the conference has passed and they can't consider a proposal anymore. Maybe next year. As for the ASHI Reporter, there's no budget for freelance writers. Darn. So, I guess that's a bummer. Doesn't mean we can't talk grammar and writing!

Excellent. I will do that! I'm on the Technical Committee that reviews articles for publication in the Reporter. We'd love it if you could submit an article or even a series of articles. Send a proposal to Sandy Bourseau at sandyb@ashi.org Tell her I sent you. - Jim Katen, Oregon

I'm waiting to hear back from them on that. Also, I was thinking of pitching an article to ASHI Reporter.

I checked the ASHI site and the deadline for speaker proposals has passed. That's a shame. How many inspectors attend such a conference? What other ones might be possible? You bet right. "It is a recommendation of this inspector that you blah, blah, blah....." Is that what you mean about nominalization? You should teach a report writing class @ one of the home inspection conferences. ASHI's is next January in New Orleans. Interested?

Well, the water company stands by its reads, so I guess they actually did read the meter. Perhaps one month they misread one digit so the usage seemed really high one month? I suppose you've ruled out the possibility that the meter was leaking a smaller amount for many months while the water company, instead of actually reading the meter, averaged your use and was simply charging you for what they *thought* you were using? - Jim Katen, Oregon

Hubby's Response: The strangest thing is that we're not going through the anywhere near the water volume that we did last month: 600 gallons/day versus 2000. I guess something could have moved to block the leak and slowed it down. Also, I think we’ve eliminated a deep line as the source since it’s not in the line from the main to the house, it’s in the sprinkler system. Those sprinkler pipes just aren’t that deep and it sure would seem like you’d see dampness at the surface at a minimum.

Thanks for your input. My husband's take: The water meter stops when we shut off the valve at the house. So I don't think there is a leak is in the main line. The meter starts when we turn the valve on to our front sprinkers. So there is probably a leak there. But here's what we can't explain: There is no way we leaked 2000 gallons a day for 30 days out of our front sprinklers and couldn't see water. The sprinkler lines are not deep enough to hide the water. Also, our water usage rate has dropped to 600 gallons per day. We did fix a small drip in the front sprinklers, but that can't account for the 1400 gallons we are now saving. That leaked dripped 5 gallons per day maximum. So there is large water usage we didn't see and it stopped without us making any real changes. Very strange. Help!

ASHI sounds intriguing. Tell me more about it and I'll definitely think about it. Do non-inspectors come and speak/participate? Now, I need some home inspection help, if you don't mind. Two questions: 1) A plumber told us our water pressure is 80psi. Is it baloney that we need a pressure regulator? 2) Our water bill has been extremely high for two months, the last month being 61K gallons (2000 gallons a day). Is it possible for a water meter to be wrong? Since the meter read on 2/27, we've used 4000 gallons total. We had both sprinkler guys and a plumber out here looking for a leak to explain the huge water amount. Just one small leak in the sprinkler and no leaks in the house. No huge puddles anywhere visible.

Perhaps, but I'm kind of enjoying commiserating with you young-uns here. By the way, a modifier is something that modifies something else such as an adjective ("young") or a more complicated phrase like "Tripping over a banana" (which could modify "the home inspector" in this sentence: Tripping over a banana, the home inspector found a terrible leak). I agree that it's not necessary to know the specific meaning of a grammar term. It's more important to recognize something isn't right and then to fix it.

Thanks for the info on NYT. I'm disappointed I can't locate it. Oh well...

I have to say very good on those rewrites. "The recommendation of" is what's called a nominalization, and it sets you up for a weak, vague and wordy sentence. These problems are some of the ones my book addresses. I bet inspector reports are full of nominalizations! Keep an eye out and then rewrite each sentence so it has a specific subject (who is doing the action) and a verb that is not blah (a verb like "to be" is dull). When you have a clear subject and a strong verb, you'll impart more information, and you'll have a less wordy, more readable sentence.

Pretty good guys, but "was" vs. "is" isn't the issue on that one. Try again!

Hello. How are those inspection reports going? Quiz time. Does anyone know what's wrong in these sentences from The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier? „h The recommendation of Internal Affairs was that the department suspend the cop because she ran out of gas during the high-speed chase. „h Questioning the witness led to information that the crime occurred while preparing some chocolate-filled delights. „h Lovingly baked by her husband, the officer brought some delicious cookies to the party. „h Its nice to finally meet a police dog that does not chase it's own tail. „h The officer found herself waste deep in a quagmire; luckily the suspect was stuck in the mud too. Good luck!

Oops, Roadguy, did you use it's instead of its?[:-graduat

I do think that reads fairly well. You could eliminate some weak verbs and nominalizations to improve it. Perhaps you can try to rewrite it and send both versions to curiouscase@hotmail.com. Good luck! Well, I don't really have boilerplate. 99% of what I write is off the cuff. However, I do have a challenge for you. Here's a short handout that I wrote about FPE panels. My goal is to persuade people to replace these panels. I want it to: be persuasive anticipate opposing points of view and demolish them in advance be intersting enough to keep people engaged throughtout remain one page or less in length It's ok as it is, but I'd like it to be less choppy and dry. Any suggestions? - Jim Katen, Oregon Download Attachment: FPE_Katen_R.doc 29.65 KB

Kurt, can't find it on the site. Any chance you could send the page/paste the link to curiouscase@hotmail.com? Thanks a bunch! I don't get paper; zero paper in my house. I get NYT online w/TimesSelect which costs (about) $8 per month. I've noticed that the online version has more stuff like book reviews than the paper version. The review was several months ago; it was a feature in the "highlighted" section of the online version Home Page; you even got a graphic. You received quite favorable comments; laudatory. It's why I ran out & got the book. Boilerplate can be very useful; there's some stuff that we have to say over & over, so I agree w/Walker that it's not all hackneyed. I've got a "comment database/library" of about 850 phrases for a lot of stuff to keep me from having to type it over & over again. Specific material descriptions is where it comes in most handy; stuff like EIFS, or asbestos comments. So, why don't folks simply write gooder? Having been in the discussion w/many, many HI's, it's sort of like everything else. Each individual brings their own personal approach to the task, including writing, even though they have absolutely no education or background w/the topic. Most folks are sure that they're genetically predisposed to be good writers, and no amount of reality will take them off that position. At a report writing workshop in Florida several years ago, the presenter (Walter J.) had a couple guys go ballistic because they thought passive voice was the only "correct" method for writing anything. No amount of gentle discussion would dissuade them from their position. Why? They didn't know, but they were absolutely sure we didn't know either. It's sorta like everything else in the house biz. Everyone watches someone on TV do a remodel, so they imagine themselves to be competent builders/remodelers because they saw it on TV.

Hi. Send on those sentences if you like! As far as a technical guide, not necessary: the point of Curious Case is that all writing, no matter what the subject, suffers from the same problem. So my advice applies to all kinds of subjects. And thanks, Roadguy, for saying you'll buy the book. I look forward to hearing your comments! actually do so, I hope, for your sake, you have a very, very large e-mail server. [:-bigeyes Maybe you could work on a technical writing manual/guide that is in the same vein as your well-reviewed "...Missing Modifier". Is this a possibility?

Back to the topic at hand: for anyone who's interested, what do you want to improve in your particular writing? Why don't you send me what you think is the worst sentence in your particular report and I can suggest how to improve it.

Oops, I meant a BA! Forgot to proofread myself!

I suppose you can guess that I'm a BA, then! As a writer/editor, not a home inspector, I don't know what ASTM is. Perhaps you could explain a bit about the process of writing your reports and your professional requirements, etc. I was under the assumption that each inspector could prepare his/her own report. Not true? I guess the upshot of my participation here is not to revolutionize an industry but to help people realize that writing doesn't have to be a dull chore. You can use anything you learn from my book to make your professional or personal writing more enjoyable to produce and more enjoyable/informative to read.

Hi. Just checking my dictionary on the meaning of "boilerplate" cuz I hate being wrong! It "appears to be" (ha ha) that the meaning is: "standardized, formulaic or hackneyed language." Hackneyed is not a good thing. Does anyone want to send me one of these horrible boilerplates so I can see for myself? curiouscase@hotmail.com By the way, where is the NYT review of my book, Kurt? I couldn't find it online and didn't know it was reviewed. Thanks, Kurt.

Why not rewrite the boilerplate so it contains information, not fluff? If you have a solid starting point, your end product will be much improved. If the report-writing seminars are so crappy, perhaps you should ignore them! As far as bad spelling, just use spell-checker as a last check, but don't rely on it to find mistakes like it's/its. I would agree that a one-page report would be more readable than a 23-page one. One of the comments I make in the book is that the best writing teacher I ever had made us write no more than a paragraph to get our ideas across, so we had to make every word count. There's no need to dress up a report with fluff, jargon and verbiage. People buying/selling a home want a simple piece of writing they can understand, and one that contains information about the home. Yes, get rid of the phrase "appears to be"! I don't think I could lead a seminar. I did, however, write my book to be accessible to everyone. One reviewer on Amazon said it was like having me sitting right next to him. I've been a copyeditor for 10 years and wrote the book because I kept changing the same weak writing mistakes in everything from a PhD thesis on some math concept I didn't understand to a fiction novel about duck hunting. I don't think it's just home inspectors who haven't learned to write. I think it's most everybody. I was hoping my book would start discussion, as it seems to have here (excellent!).

Hi. So what kinds of writing problems come up for you guys the most? Bonnie, author of "The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier: How to Solve the Mysteries of Weak Writing"