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Gerber machetes recalled for...

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[#1] Posted: 08/21/2012 - 12:58:19 PM
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...you guessed it, laceration hazards.

They were sold individually or as part of an Apocalypse Survival Kit.

Be sure to get your free replacement before the zombies arrive.

more info...

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Gerber machetes recalled for...
[#2] Posted: 08/22/2012 - 5:11:17 PM
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Quote: The blade is marked with the "GERBER?" trademark and a stylized Bear Grylls trademark. The machete comes in a black nylon sheath with orange and gray trim. The machetes were sold separately or as one of the products in Gerber's Apocalypse Survival Kit. The model numbers are on the package. Model numbers are: 31-000698, which has "Survival Series" printed on the package; and 31-001507, which was sold only at Walmart.


Bear Grylls. The guy who killed a camel to drink fluid from, instead of riding it out of the desert.

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Gerber machetes recalled for...
[#3] Posted: 09/05/2012 - 5:50:35 PM
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This general in the Foreign Legion is transferred to a new fort, and half way through his tour of the place, he spots a mangey old camel tied up at the back of the fort. He turns to the corporal: "What in God's name do you use that for?", he asks. The corporal replies "Well, sir, there are a lot of men, and now and then, they become, shall we say, horny...." "Ah, yes, yes, I understand. Fine, move on"

About 6 weeks later, the general wakes up feeling so horny, he'd get up on the crack of dawn and calls the corporal. "Bring me to the camel" says he.

The corporal does, and once at the camel, he makes it stand up, and places a stool behind it.

With that, the general stands on the stool, takes out Mr Floppy and inserts it into the camel. He then proceeds to give it the ride of its life. Having finished, he puts away his equipment, and looks proudly at the corporal. "Well", he says, "is that the way you men do it around here?"

"Er...no, sir", replies the corporal, "We normally just use the camel to ride to the nearest brothel."


   
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